Hey, you!

The mystique of this sign (even on a cafe menu) never ceases to amaze me.

So, as you may or may not have noticed, I’ve taken a wee blog hiatus. In the meantime, I returned home to California. On the journey between home and home, I reflected on how this trip felt in comparison to the last one.

A field of California poppies… and a wish.

Then, I asked myself far more questions than I did this time around. Then, I was concerned with how it would feel to be back in San Francisco, my city for seven years. Would she remember me? Would I recognize all of her quirky details and sandy stretches and neighborhood haunts where you and I used to gather? You still gather there, of course.

Ocean Beach, the old hood.

Now, I’m the friend from out of town, the one to meet up with after work as you go about your California life and commitments. Now, I love the suburbs, sitting on my mom’s deck, the old trails I used to run and am now content to stroll, and thinking about how it all used to be yet remains the same. San Francisco is now a place to travel to, even when I’m home. When we do meet, you and I both have stories to tell and months to catch up on and new challenges and rewards to paint the scenery of so we each understand what all the interceding time has really added up to for the other.

Sky and sun and water and the beginning of a journey.

Perhaps I didn’t have so many concerns this time around as I readied for California because I no longer feel like I’m straddling two homes, two hemispheres, two seasons… I am more at peace with the fact that they simply co-exist. I’m not torn between the two as much as I feel the influence of both. It’s a nice feeling and it begs fewer questions.

But there are always things to learn, of course, on the journey to and fro. For instance:

1. Home is still home.

Not our home, but one I always pass when I hike around the neighborhood.

2. Friends are still friends.

With Em and Linds for the solar eclipse. We think we saw it 🙂

3. There’s still never quite enough time. This trip was long and luxurious because of it. I had time to visit with almost everyone, and a few folks more than once, which was lovely and momentarily tricked me into thinking I was home for good. But because Ryan wasn’t with me this trip, I still felt the subtle tug of distance and that co-existence of simultaneous goings-on down in Chile.

What Ryan, a.k.a. “Raul,” might have been doing back in Santiago.

4. We change. We move, we get a new job, we train for a race, we start a family. These changes are beautiful. And for many of my friends right now, these kinds of changes are in full force. We’re in our early 30s. We might share a history that takes us all the way back to high school, but now we’re talking about stroller brands and service opportunities and how we take care of houses and toddlers and promotions. We’re grown up, I suppose is what I’m trying to say, and we’re still in each other’s hearts.

SF love.

5. We change. In ways that are harder to weather when the distance between us is so far. We are still there in each other’s hearts, but the infrequency is challenging. Lives get busy and while we have the best of intentions, we might not have had the chance to connect this time around. I wish that weren’t the case! I wish I could be home in a flash whenever you needed me, and I wish you could see my life in Chile and what it really looks like.

Solar eclipse playground.

All of this is to say hello and goodbye, as is often the case now when I come home. The trip is what’s over in a flash. Nowadays, I have even more of you to say hello to when I land back in Chile, too, which is a nice feeling and makes it easier to co-exist in these two places. Just know I think about all of you, even when I’m far, far away. I wish you well and embrace where life is taking you. Thanks for being there as life takes me a little beyond reach. Please know I’m always still there/here.