The Pacific, Zapallar, Chile

When you’re in a long distance relationship, it becomes all about communication. You have to rely on words to share how your day went, your mood, and that funny thing that happened in line at the grocery store. There’s no touch to stand in place of affection or apology. It’s all about what you say and how solid your Skype connection happens to be that day.

Ryan and I have been going the distance since last June. We have Skype dialed in. We know the three-hour or fifteen-minute minute windows we have to reach the other person at home. We make sure to talk everyday. But sitting here in our kitchen in Santiago, knowing I’m catching a plane back to San Francisco in nine hours, and resuming the final semester that will keep 6,000 miles between us for the next five months, makes the longing just as strong as it was the first time I took him to the airport. It was last summer for me in SF/winter for him in Santiago.

We only have sixty-three days to wait this time before I’ll be back for spring break. Then another two-and-a-half months, then we’ll have made it. It will be June again, a year will have passed, and I’ll be making my own way in Chile. We’ll be together, the adventure well underway, and the 6,000 miles will be between us and our family and friends instead.

It’s summer here right now, mid-January. My husband is right before my eyes. Tomorrow I’ll wake up in winter, a California winter, but winter nonetheless. And my husband will be “back home,” where we’ve just re-arranged the furniture, added some sweet new houseplants, and watched a ridiculous Alien series every night after dinner for the past week. It’s all fun with him. I’d wait for a bus for days as long as we were waiting together. I know it will be fun “back home,” too. I have the friends I miss, a thesis to finish, and quality time to spend with my mom, who has been the extent of my immediate family until now.

If home really is where your heart is, I suppose I’m leaving home to go home. I wonder if it will always feel that way.