In the past, my birthday has usually been a swell excuse to gather as many friends as possible in a certain city establishment and let the night go where it may. We’ve taken the silly photos and sung along to the silly songs and by the end of it, I’m usually most definitely telling everybody how much I love them and couldn’t imagine my life without them and never want the night to end.
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| Punta de Lobos, February 2012 |
Well, that’s a little hard to do from 6,000 miles away. I really didn’t expect the birthday to add even more miles to this physical distance. Ryan and I (born two days apart) made plans to head to the beach, which provided an ideal way to celebrate… by the water, with the salty air, screens out of sight, staring out at the same Pacific Ocean we had our first official date alongside. After all, if we can’t have our friends and family, we Aquarians better have the water!
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| The surf contest was a surprise! |
We’ve been to Pichilemu and Punta de Lobos before, when we arrived on New Year’s Eve 2010 to honeymoon there and start a new marriage and a new year in a new country. We’d been looking forward to returning for our birthdays for awhile, as February is most definitely a winter month at home, but a peak summer month in Chile. That means we were not the only ones seeking out the beach. Far from it! The grid-lock traffic, surf contest, and old ladies knocking me out of the way at the only grocery store in town were evidence of that. But we had–and held onto–each other.
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| With fog or without, I’ll take it. |
Last year, Ryan and I were apart. You guessed it; he was down in Chile and I was back in California, in the heart of my last semester of graduate school and using every non-thesis-izing moment to catch up with friends. Even though it meant ten months in a different hemisphere than Ryan, I really feel like I got a bonus year to say my long face-to-face goodbye, but I’ve never for one moment accepted that I can’t be in their lives or they can’t be in mine just because we live in different countries. Yes, we can’t see each other or attend all the special occasions or go on the long walks, but technology is pretty satisfying these days. I make an honest effort to stay on top of the important things going on in their lives, to check in about the mundane, to schedule the skype dates, to see how the job searches have been going, and to try to generate those laughs and good times that are so much easier to do when you’re in the same room with somebody.
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| Surf contestant in the distance. |
This year, Ryan and I got to celebrate together. We walked the beach. He rode the waves and I let my toes dance on their edges. We both got to reconnect with the ocean that has meant so much to us as we grew up and made lives in Northern California. Even though we live a minimum of 90-minute drive away from it now, just knowing it’s there has been an important link between my two homes. I may be here and you all may be there, but there is this vast body of water that touches both shores. I wondered if the waves we were in were once in California, and if they would one day make it back.
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| Ryan paddling out. |
Still, it was strange to be so far away this year, from the easy unlimited text message, from the birthday dinner, from the people who know me best and with whom I’ve celebrated all things time and again. Thanks to Facebook and email, I received many-a-lovely message from so many of you, and that meant the absolute world. It’s amazing how a little sentiment and the time it takes to send it my away really does lessen the distance between us. I thank you for that.
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| Everyone else on vacation with us 🙂 |
That said, I didn’t expect the wave of homesickness, larger than I’m used to riding out down here (pardon the pun). It was one of the first times in eight months that I started to accept that we can’t always be there in the same ways for each other. We lead busy lives, we aren’t always around when the other person is, especially given time changes and spotty internet connections and last-minute schedule changes. But consider yourself warned–I will keep on trying! Thank you in advance for continuing to make the effort to stay in my life, just as I desperately want to remain in yours.
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| The sun always comes back out. |
Friends and family! You are my sunshine!! In addition to the waves, I at least imagined a top-notch birthday party in my head. You were all there and you had a great time and I never wanted the night to end 🙂